Most artist have more than a few self portraits lying around and I have shared a few to date. From “I am Simian” to “Quetzalcoatl at Chichen Itza” to name a couple, it is interesting for me to see how I have chosen to represent myself overtime and how that has evolved.
Real quick take a peak at my other self portraits in the archives. I’ll wait right here for y’ah. OK, now that you’ve taken look and made your way back, I hope I have a little context to draw from.
Self portraiture is a unique excercise in so far as it is any opportunity for an artist not merely to create, but literally to recreate themselves. I can’t remember who said it, but I remember some artist saying something to the effect that his subjects came more to look like his portraits rather than the othe way around. Somebody out there is jumping up and down, but settle down and consider this view in the context of self-portraiture and realize that there is something really aspirational there. Whether in renewal of a long held perspective or the casting off a tired lens, the process of deliberately recasting yourself has many profound implications.
The other school of thought and the one I have ascribed to more often than not, is that self portraits are a reflection in an exploration of self. In this case, it is not so aspirational, but the analysis is nonetheless revealing.
I think most people would think that there is a casam between the two schools of thoughts, but I would suggest that the distinction is not as great as it would appear. Maybe someone who has studied psychology could explain this better, but it is obvious to me that the line where ego proclaims “this is who I am” and an objective reflection of self is not an easy line to draw. I guess that is just another question subtly posed to the artist making a self portrait.
Today’s self portrait is definitely about the reflection of self rather than an aspirational view. I painted it sometime in or around 2006 and a couple of years removed it is hard for me to remember enough about that moment in time to offer much insight about myself back then. Why did I choose those colors? Why did I choose to tweak certain features? What does it all mean? I scrutinize myself for answers and find few. I enjoy looking though and feel that the puzzle pieces are there if I could only put them together.
Answers are few and far between in the exploration of self and frankly, I don’t think I need anything all that definitive. I hope you have enjoyed drifting along with me. Aspire, reflect, look inward, and as I have said many times before be free, create, and grow roots.
And so it was… as self portrait of myself, by myself.
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